tmr is obs. one week(ok five days). den cannot blog. cannot go msn. cannot watch hana kimi. cannot see nan xue zhang + wuzun. cannot even sit comfortably at home or anywhere. hope i can sleep well. i doubt i will eat though. i do hope charis is alright. why her body(cells!) so naughty. go and become sick right before obs.
i still haven talk to anyone about my problems these few days. i duno who to talk to. i duno how to begin, how to end. i dont noe what i really want to say. i just dont feel right. my mum was wrapping present today. she told me to take pen knife for her. she din noe i shld be the last person she find to take pen knife for her. i held the pen knife and wanted to do something. i wanted so much to cry. i stared at it. stared. i thought of what i did. i thought of charis. i thought of so many people. yes i know i shldnt do this. shldnt do this to myself. but i cant control. i am tired. tired of myself. i am sorry my friends. i am sorry.
i shall be back after obs. hopefully i find my soul there and not lose it anymore.

comment / top