cried. twice. finally. after holding back for so long. cant hold it any more. it was so horrible. the tears flow down my cheek down my neck and into my shirt. i cant control my emotions anymore. emotionally unstable ba. haven recover from my depression yet. wanted to cut myself to see blood. i like the colour of blood. only blood. wanted to tear down my house. wanted to jump from my house. wanted to eat sleeping pills. wanted just to leave this world. heaven or even hell is a better place for me i think. maybe i am more needed there. who knows. shown smiles today. laughed. so fake. maybe no one could tell. but it was acted like in any drama show. acted. planned. this is getting worse everyday. hope someone can cure me. maybe i just need alittle bit more care. alittle bit more concern. alittle bit more attention. maybe all i want is just you by my side. all my friends to be by my side. dont leave me ever alone. please. i really need someone.
oh ya. today melwee gave me this piece of paper coz ytd i was sad oso. she is so sweet. so cute. so nice lor. yes i still love melwee. charis was sweet too. she keep smiling at me. yes i still love charis too. maybe showing alittle bit more care for my friends make them feel better. yes. it does. heres the paper melwee gave me.

FRONT:


BACK:


i am in no mood to study for ih. i will fail it. no point. saddening. shall go and find something to do.
bye.

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i forgot to bring my smile to school today. i think i am forgetting it forever. i am losing it. losing my smile. somewhere out there. now all i have left is tears. i think i've got depression. sometimes, i just want to cry. almost cried on the way to school today. had to hold back coz there was ppl arnd. den i reach school, got hsin fang there cannot cry infront of her oso. was depressed the whole time. hsin fang noticed. i was so damn quiet. den hsin fang went arnd spreading the news -.- while i looked for jaime(TAN ZHEN MIN). she asked me why i am sad. i cant explain. theres no reason. or is there? i dont noe. i really dont noe. help me. i am dying. i think someday u will see the news reporting the suciding of chenyi. SOON.
-DEAD

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oh ya. i forgot to say something.
i shall say it now: I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD I LOVE MEL WEE TOO! XD haha. its true.

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sometimes you just feel so wrong.
its just all wrong.
you got nothing to say, got nothing to do, got no one to speak to, got no cure.
DEPRESSION.
i want to die. without me, theres no difference. you wont miss a shanny in your life.
i bet you want to get rid of it long ago. (CY IS BEING STUPID AGAIN. WHY IS SHE SO EMO TODAY!?!?!?!?)
oh ya i wanted to say : I LOVE CHARIS! :) I LOVE CHARIS! :) I LOVE CHARIS! :) I LOVE CHARIS! :) I LOVE CHARIS! :) I LOVE CHARIS! :) I LOVE CHARIS! :) I LOVE CHARIS! :) I LOVE CHARIS! :) I LOVE CHARIS! :) I LOVE CHARIS! :) I LOVE CHARIS! :) I LOVE CHARIS! :) I LOVE CHARIS! :) I LOVE CHARIS! :) !!!!
hahahahaha. its true. she so nice and SO NICE. hahaha. charis dun be sad. BE OPTIMISTIC!
LIFE IS HOPEFUL! SEE THE LIGHT! hahaha. nvm i am stupid.
buh bye.

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hello.
today was great. was fun.
rachel chengxin(after she gone for treatment) and me went j8.
they went to buy presents while i tagged XD
we went walking around. then melmel pei lih and penny came and met us at KFC.
rachel and cx brought a photo frame a bracelet and a necklace.
i bought more mentos and it was eaten by pei lih penny and mel.
then we sat at kfc den rachel went off to do her SOMETHING in school.
waaah. we were laughing like siao in kfc due to some unknown stupid jokes lor.
so stupid leh. so loud somemore. den mel and pei lih so lame dat i scream to cx dat i want go home.
they say cx look like panda. ya abit lor. coz she lack sleep. EVERYONE LACKS SLEEP CAN.
in the end went home wif melwee and cx. penny and pei lih took bus!
and somemore melwee dont noe i live in yishun oso. :I
den took mrt went home and changed my blogskin and url.
ok la. i noe my blog very boring to read la. its true. next time post something nicer!
buh bye.
-i love tang yu zhe! XD

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